You would think Legends Inc was over

I have heard that 2009 is officially to be called the Year of the Legend so I figure now is better than ever to fire up Legends Inc again. I can't believe it's already been a year since we created this thing and even though it quickly fell to the wayside like pretty much everything I start, the blog is turning over a new leaf. First, the beer aspect is being dropped, mainly because I know nothing about beer besides that it gets me drunk unless I accidentally bought O'Douls. Also, the novelty of good beer has worn off on me because a year ago I could barely afford good beer being that I worked at Target for under 8 dollars an hour. Now I work at a military office job where I only spend about an hour a day actually working. The rest of my time is spent mastering the expert level on the game Minesweeper and wikipeding every possible thing on God's green earth and getting paid a rather absurd amount of money for it. So I have spent the last year drinking good beer and I'm over it so I'm taking the blog in a brand new direction.

First of all, I'm going to review anything that I see fit. Did I just polish off a Baconator at Wendy's and now my stomach wants to know why it has died and gone to heaven? I'll write about it. Did I take down a bottle of Sailor Jerry's Rum while watching a marathon of the Rock of Love Bus? I'll give you my opinion on both of those things. I'm switching up the rating system as well. Going four thumbs up just makes us sound like a mutant version of Siskel and Ebert. I'm taking things up a notch and grading on the 10 point scale. I'm going to adapt it to whatever fits the subject as well. So if I just watched the Dark Knight I would give it 8.7 Heath Ledger overdoses out of 10. (To soon? Probably, but it was a year ago.) Or if I just listened to the new Killers CD I would give it 4.2 you peaked on Sam's Town out of Peaking on Sam's Town 10. I'm pretty much going solo right now having not talked to Wharff before posting this entry but I think he will dig it. There is a pretty busy weekend coming up including a Girl Talk concert, a premeire of Friday Night Lights, and whatever 1$ dollar movie we decide to see. So I guess all I have to say is "Commence blog going into full effect" CHYEAH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!


The 'Trail

Blue Moon's Little Bro: Shock Top

I wasn't sure what to expect when I began to drink Shock Top. Judging from the package which consists of a sun with shades and a mohawk I was expecting an energy drink flavor, or possibly the greastest drink ever, orange soda with alcohol. Instead what I got was something that tasted exactly like Blue Moon, to the point where I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Don't get me wrong, I love Blue Moon. It has pushed me into blackout territory many a times at the bar but the reason I'm doing this is to drink new beers and this was a little too familair.

There is one key difference between the two beers and that is the marketing and design. Blue Moon with it's picture of a moon over a farm gives off a fall/early winter vibe while I can only see myself drinking a beer whose logo is an X-treme sun during the summer. Since the two are pretty much the same beer I have decided to make Blue Moon strictly a fall/winter beer while adding Shock Top to my summer rotation.


Pros: Good taste
Suns with shades and mohawks

Cons: Not as available as Blue Moon, taste the same but more expensive
Low alcohol content (less than 6%)

Overall I give it

2.7 out of 4 thumbs


The TRAIL

Mr. Woodcock

All-Star Cast-CHECK

Great Trailer-QuaziCheck

Great Movie-Check(ON OPPOSITE DAY)

I will be eating this movie up and dumping it out in 5...4....3...2...1. Mr. Woodcock is by far the worst movie I have seen in 2008. The funniest parts of this garbage pale of a movie are in the trailer. The cast is legitamate, but Sean William Scott playing the part of a uptight, motivational book-writer can't stray away from a Stifler-esque role unless he is singing about noble rabbits. As for BillyBob, his acting is decent, playing a hell-driven gym teacher, but the dialog makes him seem like a cross between his roles in Bad Santa and Bad News Bears with slight retardation. The endless joke of Billybob plowing Stifler's mom, Susan Sarandon, is redundant and since that's pretty much the only joke in the movie, one can see why boredom becomes an issue during the viewing. Ethan Suplee that token fat guy that seems to be popping up in quite a few movies these days wins the award for biggest douchebag in a movie for 2008 in playing a server that's in love with Stifler's Book. Kudos.

The only reason I am not giving this atrocity of a movie four thumbs down is Amy Poehler and Billybob's father. Amy is a breath of fresh air in a movie that has a lot of suffocating qualities playing the drunkard manager of Stifler. The Father is a ninety year old man picking fights out of a wheelchair, cursing up a storm, and trying to get all the dimes pieces. Make them the the stars of the movie and then we're talking, but since they're not I rate Mr. Woodcock

-3 out of 4 thumbs

Singing Out,

THE SAYLOR

Mr. WoodCock

Anytime you see a movie named Mr. Woodcock you know that you are in for the pinnacle of comedy. Although, I guess you have to be impressed when a movie can fit in two slang terms for a penis into a movie title and get away with it. I'll admit that I didn't have high hopes for this movie despite it having a solid cast that had all been in good movies before. The movie tried to hard to be like a PG-13 version of Bad Santa. Except if Billy Bob can't drop f-bombs, then him playing an asshole just doesn't seem legit. So to make up for the lack of cuss words they resort to having Billy Bob just mostly throw balls at kids in their underwear and spouting mildly humorous insults that get very old by the end of the movie. In a movie like this a hot chick is a neccesity and the movie tried to make that happen by cramming in a crappy sub plot involving Sean William Scott's old classmate. The problem is she has about 5 seconds of screen time and is a no name. To be honest I can't even remember what she looked like. Was Amy Smart not available or something? She was born for these type of roles. The plot is lame and predictable even for a comedy and prolly the worst thing I can say about it is that even after only 5 days of watching I already forget most of it which is maybe the worst thing you can say about a movie.

I also zoned out for a good portion of the movie and had a few thoughts about the movie such as is Susan Sarandon hot or not? Why hasn't Amy Poehler got a starring role in a movie since she has been truth in everything she has done? Will anyone ever start calling Sean William Scott by his actual name or just call him Stifler for the rest of his career? The movie did have a couple scenes that were funny and Billy Bob did have a line every now and then that hit the mark so it wasn't a complete disaster. I hope this movie does cap the "Billy Bob Thorton Asshole Trilogy" because it started off great with Bad Santa, was decent with Bad News Bears, and was garbage in this movie. It might be time for a new role ol' Billy Boy or knock it back up to the R rating. I give this movie
.4 thumbs out of 4

The 'Trail

Hazed and Infused

Even before I took my first sip of Hazed and Infused it had a couple of things going for it. I'm a big fan of puns and play on words. Even the smallest or lamest pun will get a chuckle out of me. So unless you are a moron then you know that the name Hazed and Infused is named after the movie Dazed and Confused. Dazed and Confused is a 4 thumbs up movie for me and may even be in my top 5. So anything named after the movie is okay in my book. Dazed and Confused isn't a half bad Led Zepplin song either.

As I lifted the bottle to take a swig, Hazed and Infused already had a solid 1.5 thumbs up just due to extenuating circumstances and the taste only helped it. It had the most distinct taste of all the beers so far and while I was on the fence at first by the third bottle I was a fan. I was ready to crown my new favorite beer until the Saylor and I started to wonder about the alcohol content. It was nowhere to be found on the bottle or packaging which was a bit suspicious. Upon looking on the website we found out that it only contained a pathetic 4.8%. With the price tag hovering around the 9 dollar mark this was unacceptable. If they could have clocked it in around 6-7% then I would have given Hazed and Infused a 3.8 but coupled with the price I must dock it at least a thumb. Therefore I give Hazed and Infused:

2.8 out of 4 thumbs

The 'Trail

Boulder Beer Company's



Hazed and Infused


Hazed and Infused is universally known for having more hops than Lebron James. Whether they're dry-hopping with crystal or centennial hops the beer has a bold, unique flavor. It's low alcohol content sitting at 4.5% is the biggest blunder a brew can have in my eyes. Dropping nine or ten beans on a sixer, you at least want to experience a little trip to buzztown. For me Hazed and Infuzed was almost too unique, like one of those humanimals. (For those of you that don't know, that is a person who physically and mentally transforms themselves into an animal.)

Anyway, the best part about the beer is the acid tripping bottle design. I have a feeling that the Boulder Beer company does have some hidden gems in the mist, but for now, just like Zepplin I am Dazed and Confused why Hazed and Infused didn't stick with subtle hops like Muggsy Bogues. That being said, I rate Hazed and Infuzed barely above average:

2.2 out of four thumbs

Signing Out,

THE SAYLOR

ERIE BREWING COMPANY'S

RAILBENDER ALE

Since this is my first Beer rating, the excitement is endless. I usually just shotgun so many beers people think that I'm hunting. Actually tasting the beer is going to be an experience in itself. I am not a very picky drinker, but I feel a Beer Snob is on the virge of creation. So, for the most part Railbender Ale goes down smooth as a baby's bottom. It has a natural ale taste that can settle in your stomach even during Saw IV. So if somebody is getting their skull saw opened you won't want to take a trip to vom city. At least not because of the beer. I am unsure about the process of rating a beer, but I would make a safe bet that it's GOOGLABLE. Since this is my first beer rate, and my pallet is satisfied, I rate Railbender Ale

3.1 out of 4 thumbs

SAW IV

As for SAW IV, you either like it or you don't. If you want to see people waking up in the worst case scenario one could ever imagine, then rent this gem. If you liked the first three, you will thoroughly enjoy this one. As a Trilogy, I put it up there with my favorites like Beverly Hills Cop and Honey I Shrunk the Kids. As a series, I hope they make them until I die. One can't argue that the traps are the most innovative as well as demented things to ever touch the big screen.

The acting is a different story. It kind of reminds me of cast of Laguna Beach, but they're not as aesthetically pleasing and their acting coaches probably weren't as good. They do one thing well, which is dying excruciating deathes. Kudos. Anyway, if you don't enjoy ole pigface, then this movie is just not your cup of tea. It does have the stereotypical make you say AWWW SPIT ending/twist, as all the SAW'S do and contrary to what Moregon Trail thinks, I think that this stacks up with the best of the Saw's. I would love to see Jigsaw in space. I hope I see Jigsaw in space, think about what they could do with the whole gravity thing. Since I watched Saw IV when it came out in the theatres like the other three, I can safely say it withstood the test of time. I wish my first movie rating wasn't the word for whatever comes after Trilogy, (we'll go Quadrily) because I like them all. I'm a sucker for gore. So, I give Saw IV

3 out of 4 thumbs



Signing Out,

THE SAYLOR