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Blogging against the clock

I was just informed by the Saylor that the blog is back in full effect and that I needed to write an entry. There is one problem tho, I only blog at work so I can claim I get paid to write my own blog. It's currently 3:13, I get out of work at 3:30. I don't plan on staying a second more than that so I have 16 minutes to write this entry. I have no idea what it is going to be about, I'm just going to type until 3:30 then hit publish post and bouce. No proofreading or reading back what i wrote. For example, I'm pretty sure I just mispelled bounce a few words back but there is no time to go back and fix it.

I guess i'll start this entry but saying the blog may need a little work. Saylor put up a entry yesterday but the header says April 28th. So it looks like Marty McFly writes for the blog now to, or the blog currently resides on the Lost island and it just got white flashed to a couple months ago. Not sure if we are still doing movie reviews but the Four Thumbs up might need to go and just be replaced by Legends Incorporated. Good thing wharff is the official blog maintenance man. So you better get on that hotshot. Lastly we need to unleash this blog on the world. I see we have 140 views after existing for a solid year and a half. That is just unacceptable. I'm officially seeting a goal of hitting 20,000 views by the end of summer. BOOM. Hows that for ambition.

Not sure how I'm going to make that happen but that is a blog post for another time when i have more than 7 minutes to ponder it. I guess for the rest of the entry I'll just talk about the Official Legends Inc. Twitter feeds. www.twitter.com/moregontrail and www.twitter.com/awwwspit I fell like twitter could be cool but it's not really blowing up yet. So unless your celeb and you have a million plus followers it feels pretty pointless to drop tweets. (Quick side note: How is ashton kutcher the most popular guy on twitter. I have glanced at his and he is pretty much the definition of a garbage man). So I need more than the 12 followers I currently have, about half of them are just spam accounts with twitter names like Britneyfuckvids.

I just hit 3:30 so I'm out. Saylor has next post but I will be back on Thur for my review of the 311/Ziggy Marley i will be attending on weds. It better be worth it 311 is actually code for Led Zepplin reunion tour with tickets going for 50 bones plus Ticketmaster aids charges. Honestly, I just hope I remember it because I will be consuming mass quanities of Sailor Jerry's rum and hitting up A&R bar for pre-game festivities.

The 'TRAIL

Coming Back Harder than Expert Mindsweeper

Get em JCVD. I can't believe it's been about a year since my last post, so I have to give the people what they want. I fully believe we will be making a better comeback than Jay-Z and his new song D.O.A. Ole boy definitely forgot that his hike up to Everest is reaching the end because he peaked with Hard Knock Life. That's a little harsh, but if Auto-Tune is dead so is Zach Morris. That is not the case here. I actually like the song, hate the message. If Jay-Z freestyled after a night at the bars with Auto-tune he might have an artistic awakening. I know I did.

Bottom Line, Auto-Tune=The Future

Crosby and Malkin=Two Girls, One Cup

I don't think Ari Gold would be happy if he was Will Ferrell's agent right now after his recent decision to drop visual stink bombs into theaters near you. All those Executive Producing clowns on "Land of the Lost" had to do was ditch the family flick for an R-rating. Kenny Powers and Will Ferrell dropping F-Bombs, getting chased by dinosaurs and going to alien strip clubs seems like a much better fit for the Duo. Act like your not saying in your head, "That's a good idea." I know you are.

Speaking of the future of comedy, The Hangover needs it's own workout infomercial because my abs hurts when I left the theater from laughing so much. Zach Galifianakis and his beard are hitting the big time after this breakout role. Anyone that's tight with Kanye is good in my book. They did an alternative video to "Can't Tell me Nothing." If you haven't seen the movie, I would wear a diaper because that much laughter makes it hard to control your bowels. CUT IT OUT FUNNY.

This kid should be proud he is the first image on google when you type in the word "Pogs".....Sick Power Ranger Slammers Bra.

I'm 90% sure that I will acoustic cover the new T-Pain and T-Swift collabo when it comes out. I can only imagine a song about Romeo and Juliet drinking Cristal in a Chariot with 26 inch spinners.

All I can say is be ready for Legends Inc to take over the blog game. We started a Blog Gang with Meatballs in the Morning. Everyone else needs to step up there blog game because we're so official all we need in a whistle.

Signing Out,

The Saylor

You would think Legends Inc was over

I have heard that 2009 is officially to be called the Year of the Legend so I figure now is better than ever to fire up Legends Inc again. I can't believe it's already been a year since we created this thing and even though it quickly fell to the wayside like pretty much everything I start, the blog is turning over a new leaf. First, the beer aspect is being dropped, mainly because I know nothing about beer besides that it gets me drunk unless I accidentally bought O'Douls. Also, the novelty of good beer has worn off on me because a year ago I could barely afford good beer being that I worked at Target for under 8 dollars an hour. Now I work at a military office job where I only spend about an hour a day actually working. The rest of my time is spent mastering the expert level on the game Minesweeper and wikipeding every possible thing on God's green earth and getting paid a rather absurd amount of money for it. So I have spent the last year drinking good beer and I'm over it so I'm taking the blog in a brand new direction.

First of all, I'm going to review anything that I see fit. Did I just polish off a Baconator at Wendy's and now my stomach wants to know why it has died and gone to heaven? I'll write about it. Did I take down a bottle of Sailor Jerry's Rum while watching a marathon of the Rock of Love Bus? I'll give you my opinion on both of those things. I'm switching up the rating system as well. Going four thumbs up just makes us sound like a mutant version of Siskel and Ebert. I'm taking things up a notch and grading on the 10 point scale. I'm going to adapt it to whatever fits the subject as well. So if I just watched the Dark Knight I would give it 8.7 Heath Ledger overdoses out of 10. (To soon? Probably, but it was a year ago.) Or if I just listened to the new Killers CD I would give it 4.2 you peaked on Sam's Town out of Peaking on Sam's Town 10. I'm pretty much going solo right now having not talked to Wharff before posting this entry but I think he will dig it. There is a pretty busy weekend coming up including a Girl Talk concert, a premeire of Friday Night Lights, and whatever 1$ dollar movie we decide to see. So I guess all I have to say is "Commence blog going into full effect" CHYEAH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!


The 'Trail

Blue Moon's Little Bro: Shock Top

I wasn't sure what to expect when I began to drink Shock Top. Judging from the package which consists of a sun with shades and a mohawk I was expecting an energy drink flavor, or possibly the greastest drink ever, orange soda with alcohol. Instead what I got was something that tasted exactly like Blue Moon, to the point where I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Don't get me wrong, I love Blue Moon. It has pushed me into blackout territory many a times at the bar but the reason I'm doing this is to drink new beers and this was a little too familair.

There is one key difference between the two beers and that is the marketing and design. Blue Moon with it's picture of a moon over a farm gives off a fall/early winter vibe while I can only see myself drinking a beer whose logo is an X-treme sun during the summer. Since the two are pretty much the same beer I have decided to make Blue Moon strictly a fall/winter beer while adding Shock Top to my summer rotation.


Pros: Good taste
Suns with shades and mohawks

Cons: Not as available as Blue Moon, taste the same but more expensive
Low alcohol content (less than 6%)

Overall I give it

2.7 out of 4 thumbs


The TRAIL

Mr. Woodcock

All-Star Cast-CHECK

Great Trailer-QuaziCheck

Great Movie-Check(ON OPPOSITE DAY)

I will be eating this movie up and dumping it out in 5...4....3...2...1. Mr. Woodcock is by far the worst movie I have seen in 2008. The funniest parts of this garbage pale of a movie are in the trailer. The cast is legitamate, but Sean William Scott playing the part of a uptight, motivational book-writer can't stray away from a Stifler-esque role unless he is singing about noble rabbits. As for BillyBob, his acting is decent, playing a hell-driven gym teacher, but the dialog makes him seem like a cross between his roles in Bad Santa and Bad News Bears with slight retardation. The endless joke of Billybob plowing Stifler's mom, Susan Sarandon, is redundant and since that's pretty much the only joke in the movie, one can see why boredom becomes an issue during the viewing. Ethan Suplee that token fat guy that seems to be popping up in quite a few movies these days wins the award for biggest douchebag in a movie for 2008 in playing a server that's in love with Stifler's Book. Kudos.

The only reason I am not giving this atrocity of a movie four thumbs down is Amy Poehler and Billybob's father. Amy is a breath of fresh air in a movie that has a lot of suffocating qualities playing the drunkard manager of Stifler. The Father is a ninety year old man picking fights out of a wheelchair, cursing up a storm, and trying to get all the dimes pieces. Make them the the stars of the movie and then we're talking, but since they're not I rate Mr. Woodcock

-3 out of 4 thumbs

Singing Out,

THE SAYLOR

Mr. WoodCock

Anytime you see a movie named Mr. Woodcock you know that you are in for the pinnacle of comedy. Although, I guess you have to be impressed when a movie can fit in two slang terms for a penis into a movie title and get away with it. I'll admit that I didn't have high hopes for this movie despite it having a solid cast that had all been in good movies before. The movie tried to hard to be like a PG-13 version of Bad Santa. Except if Billy Bob can't drop f-bombs, then him playing an asshole just doesn't seem legit. So to make up for the lack of cuss words they resort to having Billy Bob just mostly throw balls at kids in their underwear and spouting mildly humorous insults that get very old by the end of the movie. In a movie like this a hot chick is a neccesity and the movie tried to make that happen by cramming in a crappy sub plot involving Sean William Scott's old classmate. The problem is she has about 5 seconds of screen time and is a no name. To be honest I can't even remember what she looked like. Was Amy Smart not available or something? She was born for these type of roles. The plot is lame and predictable even for a comedy and prolly the worst thing I can say about it is that even after only 5 days of watching I already forget most of it which is maybe the worst thing you can say about a movie.

I also zoned out for a good portion of the movie and had a few thoughts about the movie such as is Susan Sarandon hot or not? Why hasn't Amy Poehler got a starring role in a movie since she has been truth in everything she has done? Will anyone ever start calling Sean William Scott by his actual name or just call him Stifler for the rest of his career? The movie did have a couple scenes that were funny and Billy Bob did have a line every now and then that hit the mark so it wasn't a complete disaster. I hope this movie does cap the "Billy Bob Thorton Asshole Trilogy" because it started off great with Bad Santa, was decent with Bad News Bears, and was garbage in this movie. It might be time for a new role ol' Billy Boy or knock it back up to the R rating. I give this movie
.4 thumbs out of 4

The 'Trail